a modest proposal

November 6, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

I have a modest proposal.

Let recovering drug addicts choose our leaders.

We are uniquely qualified for the task.
Having lived years of lies, deceit, thievery, skillful manipulation and faulty reasoning, recovering addicts are the most adept at smelling bullshit before it ever sets foot in a room or on a stage.

We’ve nothing left to lose because our addictions have taken it already. We’re impartial to the party, only to the raw revelation of honesty and good reason and we will go to any lengths necessary to find it in another. Our motto is “principles over personalities” and our goal is to see the emergence of integrity. We don’t acquiesce to emotional appeals or spins on the truth, but call them on the carpet. Our training was perfected while imprisoned, on the streets of selfish coercion, and usually both. Recovery has made all our secrets public with nothing left to hide or to hide behind and we understand what is freedom and what is not. We are all veterans of a war who walked away victors and are among the most vigilant combatants on behalf of others in the world.

We know the enemy because he is who we once were.

By nature, it takes a keen set of skills to become an addict and a ruthless pursuit of humility to escape from it. We know when someone’s under bad influence, on something, onto something, or just needs a few sobering days in jail. We let people be flawed and forgiven but not rescued.

We demand integrity in one another and are the first to recognize when it slips. We are accountable to no special interests but only to the power of the One higher and smarter than ourselves. And most importantly, we know that sometimes losing is winning.

This is my modest proposal.

thoughts & prayers & other non sequiturs.

June 21, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

You march holding signs in vigils without prayer,
News clips and sound bytes from celebrities on air.
Take a moment of silence or a ribbon to wear,
Make appearances in public to show you were there.

Do something symbolic that others will see,
But skirt any substance, lest it benefits thee.
Caught up in your rallies, and causes and claims,
Can’t cough up a dollar, but can divvy up blame.

Thumbs up on a post or a heart if you dare,
Stopping short of much more lest they think you might care.
Scrolling you stop at the internet kittens,
But don’t linger too long or they’ll see you are smitten.

The best we have mustered was never enough,
To make any difference for all of this fluff.
It’s time we got dirty, dug in, made a difference,
Instead of performing this charade of indifference.

Now go get all butt hurt and claim I attack,
But let’s turn the tables and I’ll give it right back.
We lie and we know we will likely do nothing,
While conversely proclaiming “It’s time we did something!”

A teaching moment.

June 12, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

Randomly ran into an old therapy client the other day.

Though 25 years had passed since he’d sat in my office tearful and broken, admitting his litany of infidelities, he introduced me to his wife I’d never met, acknowledging how much help I’d been to him way back then. “I’m a different man these days because of you.” I said “Thank God, aren’t we all?” It was a brief encounter for him, but as we parted ways, I carried it into my afternoon, remembering how genuinely contrite he’d been those few times in my office. Moreso, how–unbeknownst to him–his confessions and epiphanies in the room those days 20+ years ago had birthed for me a personal model of genuine repentance. Having used it myself more than a couple times since, I considered finding him in the crowd again to share with him the same words he’d shared with me: “I’m a different man these days because of you.”

There are moments in life when every student is a teacher, and every teacher, a student.

Memorial Day.

May 31, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

They never considered it a question of worth but always counted themselves lesser than the greater gain. Now free from a nation they freed, and lost to the lives they saved, they must wonder from the heavens in silent valor at those in this barbecuing, forgetful nation who merely consider the day another occupational fringe benefit.

Memorial Day isn’t so much about being happy, but about taking a thankful moment of silent honor away from the pool and grill to recall their merits of sacrifice paid at full price.

Then go eat your burger, jump in your pool and be very, very happy that a complete stranger once believed you were worth it.

If graves could speak if you should visit
They’d tell you how their resting isn’t
In nor under dirt and stone
But in hearts of those they’ve left at home.
And ask today you be so kind
To hug on those they left behind.

I wonder.

April 6, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

I wonder if they’ll wonder why
I never ever said good bye.
I’m not around and out of touch
Nothing nowhere, not so much.

I wonder if they’ll wonder where
I’ve clearly vanished to thin air.
Or look and see I’m not around
And hear me not, and can’t be found.

I wonder if they’ll wonder how
I took my leave without a bow.
Or disappeared without a trace
And left no tear on no one’s face.

I wonder if they’ll wonder when
I might be coming back again.
Like absences that reappear,
Not very likely, this is clear.

I wonder if they’ll wonder if
At six feet under when I’m stiff
I’ve gone away to heaven’s gate
With earnest hope for them to wait.

I wonder who will wonder then
Or think of things which might have been
Or wonder not, their life resume
To wonder things they just presume.

I wonder if I’ll even wonder
In that sleep to think and ponder
Thoughts like these I left behind
Or in their slumber never mind.

Or if and when and how and why
It even matters when I die?
But wonder not where I have gone,
Rejoice instead I’m finally home.

Stories of ode.

March 31, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

They’re rickety,

some finicky,

and most hard of hearing,

a bit batty

but chatty

with stories endearing.

Of back then

and back when

and decades before,

when life was

much simpler

and no one kept score.

So sit back,

you won’t lack

of tales as you listen,

for before long,

they’ll be gone

and you will have missed them.

Every passing day buries another lifetime of fascinating untold tales and memories. Spend a little more time to make and old friend with someone new or a new friend with someone old before they become buried treasures.

c LifeMeansSoMuch.com

that defining moment

March 31, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

Talk all you want about how you’ve lived a full and meaningful life, done more good than bad, got right with God and the universe, and how you’re in good stead with yourself and others. But I suspect at the very end, when shown the light toward which we all must walk, all the artfully articulated words of your peace and readiness become instantly and utterly vain and meaningless, eagerly traded in a panic for just one more day, hour or minute that might just make the bigger difference you always dreamed about but had never yet found.

Things that make me cry

March 29, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

Things that make me cry:
Cutting onions
Remembering my dad
Fishing a stream at dawn
Watching poor people surviving
Watching very hungry old people
Underdogs
Puppies
Flash mob proposals
Compassion acting without audience
Epiphanies
More puppies
Endings of most novels
Irreconcilable regrets
People kissing
Things I can’t change
People who do
Total surprises from God
Songs at just the right moment
Every kind of cancer
Hopeless addicts
Soulless people
New regrets I just remembered
Cuddling no one
Writing stories that will long outlive me
Serendipity
A really, really good laugh
Lists like this.

Nothing rhymes in the land of the old.

March 15, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

After years of enduring, I’m never quite curing those tired, maturing old souls I’m procuring, assuring, and each day securing while touring misfortunes untold.

Lately found myself fading, restating, relating to so many in waiting contemplating unabating, and creating these tales that unfold.

What these people are needing is a break from the beating, a mere greeting or feeding, and daily repeating their pleading for a peace they hope soon to behold.

Yet I find them endearing when I, upon hearing their fearing, I’m steering some of them to a clearing free of pain, persevering the bright light which will someday console.

Though my mission, ambition, and heartful condition cries out in admission I am no magician, physician, nor in a position to cure, just to help and to hold.

Nothing seems to rhyme when you’re old.

to see or not to see.

March 15, 2017UncategorizedDon Miller

I hardly recognized her.
Wearing pink lipstick, faintly rouged cheeks and the brush of a crusted old eye shadow she’d packed away 30 years ago after her husband died, she removed her new glasses and struck an atypical pose remarkably athletic for a woman her age.
“I’m baaack!” she said through a smile wide enough to be a laugh.
Since her early 50s, she’d never clearly seen herself in any mirror. What she could make out of the blurry image that peered back was less than half the cheery disposition she’d adopted overnight since they arrived.

To be specific, it was five business days. That’s how long it took to get her first vision exam in 30 years and the corrective lenses that notched her view of herself up about 10 points.
“I haven’t seen myself in 30 years, Don,” she blubbered through the tears that dampened the mascara and the artful thank you face she’d spent all morning to create for me.

His death back in 1985 had left her with a halved income and nothing extra for anything–including an exam or glasses–for at least three decades. Putting on makeup had become impossible and checking to see if she’d applied it in the right places was worse.
So long ago, she’d given up on making herself beautiful for a man or a mirror…and ultimately, herself.

Now she can see and read most anything, anywhere for the first time in years, including her own beautiful new self image, all because I work at a great place called HopeLink who saw her need and gave her hope and vision and a great view for the future.