All posts by Don Miller

About Don Miller

A lifetime Las Vegas resident and father of three grown children, Don spent 15 years as a licensed psychotherapist and speaker in private and hospital practices. Prior, he was part owner of an award-winning family advertising agency. Having fallen into addiction to crystal methamphetamine several years ago, losing everything to the drug, he has been clean since 9/4/11 and more sober about life with each passing day. The stories and content of this site are the accumulating epiphanies of his journey into sobriety, shared here to inspire others, especially those who remain embroiled in addictive battles of their own. LifeMeansSoMuch, the song title by Chris Rice (and you are highly encouraged to download it on ITunes or YouTube,) is the lyrical inspiration for the content of this site. Don is currently a life coach, author, speaker and manager at a non-profit, HopeLink of Southern Nevada.

Going home.

Today, he leaves on the trip of a lifetime and I don’t expect him to return in one piece.

Going home for the first time in 40 years rarely returns the same person.

Things change, people change, stories change, and his youthful life on a now abandoned small town Colorado farm is liable to answer many questions he’d rather not.

But it’s time to grow up and he’s driven by the gnawing truth of a need to know.

Ignorance is bliss when you’re a child.

But as grown man, decades later, ignorance loses the soothing capacity that made a difficult life bearable at 7 years old.
Truth tends to sour the sweet and connect family dots in ways that never made sense in single digit years but every sense for a 50 year old in need of answers and their consequences.

Going home again breaks family secrets, exposing well-intended protective lies which have haunted him with so many questions he’s now compelled to answer before all depositions are dead and unavailable and it’s too late to correct history.

So he’s going home.

Like so many, we grow up with fond recollections of what we were told was a normal life but with a persistent, grating curiosity about the real truths behind them that we’ll address on a better day somewhere, somehow, sometime.

But time is not the great healer it promised to be.

So many events of our lives are proudly recalled in cocktail conversations which didn’t end the unnerving, silent question marks hidden from others and ourselves because we just want to fit in, and be normal, and for them to just go away.

But forty years later, we find we’re no more normal than we’d chosen to believe all these years, and living with those nagging inconsistencies drags us back to the place of their birth for a private intervention that will very likely drop him or any of us in pieces on the floor of an abandoned farmhouse somewhere alone in Colorado asking all the whys with no one there to answer.

Go home, good friend.

And when you return, I’ll be here to help you pick up those shattered pieces and assemble your once favorite stories into a painful new narrative of truth that hurts so much but heals so much more.

I’ll be waiting here with no better answers but to help unpack the discoveries in your new baggage and put it all away for good.

And maybe then, you can finally grow up.
I promise it will be wonderful.

The invisible man.

I hadn’t considered myself among “the least of these” until starting over at 51 as an ex-felon working a $9/hour church janitor job apparently exceeded the qualifications.

But the surprise of a fifty dollar bill tucked in my back pocket by a passing stranger at Christmastime was eclipsed only by the words accompanying the gesture.

“You’re making more of a difference than you know, young man.”

I’m not sure if I was more shocked with being addressed as a young man or by the unexpected generosity of his acknowledgement of a stranger working a lowly, invisible job during the busiest time of the church calendar.

I’d just returned from plunging a TeenTime toilet full of poop and was en route across the courtyard to a hazardous cleanup in KidKare made by siblings who’d had bad blueberries and Alpha Bits for breakfast.

I’d like to report our encounter was an interaction but his swift disappearance into the festive crowd of evening Christmas servicer was as angelic as his act of kindness.

By the time I put my mop and pail to the ground and wiped my hand on my shirt to shake his, he was gone.

I reached into my back pocket to find the gift he’d bestowed, and while $50 was a helpful blessing this time of year, his words had held much greater value.

Invisible people are all around us.

Janitors, cashiers, clerks and others are such name tags we rarely if ever read or better yet, take notice.

Doing so need not cost 50 dollars or 50 cents, but only to know the words to their song on a not so silent night that hoped someone might care enough to notice and at the very least, tell them that in this world, they’re making more of a difference than they know.

Cornerstone.

Jesus is the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone. Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.
‭‭Acts‬ ‭4‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

A cornerstone serves as a foundation or starting point for a building, monument, or other structure. It is typically the first stone set in the construction of a building, and plays a significant role in the overall stability and integrity of the structure.

It represents the values, principles, or beliefs upon which the building or institution is founded.

He is alive.

She went and told those who had been with him and who were mourning and weeping. When they heard that Jesus was alive and that she had seen him, they did not believe it.
‭‭Mark‬ ‭16‬:‭10‬-‭11‬ ‭NIV‬‬


Unbelief. 


The cross and the Jesus story is a stumbling block to man and was even to those who had been most prepared to believe it. 


Living with him and serving him was at times still not enough to keep faith alive. 


And now challenged to believe the unthinkable, they arrived at a crossroads that would either steal it all away or seal their faith and devotion for eternity. 


After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God. Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied it.
‭‭Mark‬ ‭16‬:‭19‬-‭20‬ ‭NIV‬‬


“I believe but please help my unbelief.” An all too familiar cry plaguing followers from the start. 


Jesus doesn’t leave us there in limbo but speaks to us all the reasons and experiences that have undergirded our faith and decision to follow him. 


The miracle of his resurrection isn’t just a story but the very nexus on which our faith stands. 


Believe it or not. 

Real change.

People who want real change in this country will put their votes behind one candidate with hopes—but no promises—real change will actually happen.

People who want real change in their communities will put their money behind charitable causes that promise to create real change.

The power of charity over government, however, lies in its requirement to be held accountable to actually deliver on what politics only promises, and then usually at less than half the cost.

Go against the flow.

Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.
‭‭Mark‬ ‭15‬:‭15‬ ‭NIV‬‬


   •   A 2022 YouGov poll found that 49% of U.S. adultsself‑identified as people‑pleasers  .


Going with the flow to avoid conflict or to appear more acceptable to the majority depreciates the value of independent thought. 


The herd effect was the driving force behind Pilate’s decision. 


Not only was it a betrayal of true leadership, but a breach of justice that would send Jesus to the grave as it was prophesied. 


There are 9 people pleasing behaviors. Look it up. You’ll find yourself in there somewhere. 


Today’s takeaway has to be that the closer you become to God, the more  enabled you will be to go against the flow when it’s called for.  

Surely.

With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. 

If you’ve ever observed someone at the end of life it’s an experience that stays with you the rest of yours. 

I recall when my mother died, her eyes opened and then closed before her final breath and it left me with more questions than answers. 

The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”

‭‭Mark‬ ‭15‬:‭37‬-‭39‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Albeit a little late, the centurion’s own acknowledgment was on the money and certainly made a profound impact on his life and on those he shared it with. 

It took witnessing Jesus’ final breath for his belief to materialize, just as it did ours. 

Racing in the rain.

Tiny
droplets
falling
landing
faster now
they race
for standing
driving down
in revving sheets
in bouncing frenzy
each one competes
but I
lost
count
and the river won.
So I sat down
to watch the cool summer rain
applaud the earth

and I waved the checkered flag.

Doneva B. & Alvin H.

This will necessarily be brief because my downgrade has been approved within the hour out of ICU to a regular floor before discharge home, but only because of the extraordinary care from two nurses during my stay at Spring Valley Hospital.

As irritating as hospitalization is, these two took care of my every need, want, and desire for the past few days with good humor, good wishes, and a preference they could be new best friends when I’m back to life and reality.

While they’re coming to take me away at this very moment, I’ll miss these two.

My hope is for God to richly bless them in their lives and careers and hope our paths may again cross but under more pleasant circumstances.

They made it as pleasant as one could ask

Bravo to this truly dynamic duo!

Providence.

Coincidences. They happen every day.


You pull over with a flat tire and seconds later there’s a massive pileup at the next intersection.


You get a $50 rebate check and an unexpected $50 invoice on the same trip to the mailbox.


The defining difference lies in your perspective on such events.

Are they just chance occurrences or is there some other force at work?

For the critical mind, it’s easier to view them as chance coincidence. But ask yourself what difference might it make if you ascribed the event to something more divine?

In the former choice, there is no change to your day, your mood or your outlook on life. It’s just another event in a litany of others that make up an otherwise routine day.

In the latter choice, there is every opportunity to feel just a little more hopeful, a bit more optimistic and a better than even chance that you’ll begin and end your day believing there’s more to life than simply what meets the eye.

What might very well be pure chance, might also very well be divinely providential.

With one, you walk away having gained nothing. With the other, you walk on and look forward to the next coincidence.


What have you got to lose?


Or perhaps better said,
what do you have to gain?