Awake in bed alone in the early morning hours and my mind wandered into enemy territory.

I realized a return to sleep was increasingly out of the question when I found myself compiling a mental list of life regrets.

Very poor use of time and an otherwise mentally healthy disposition I know, but I live on the edge occasionally and allowed it to continue a lot longer than I should have.

I wish I’d served in the Navy right out of high school when first offered that scholarship.

I wish I’d gone into insurance or real estate early on and I’d be rich and retired by now.

I wish I’d have beaten the hell out of Tony Franciosa when he called me out in 6th grade.

I’d like to have been able to grow more than 12 hairs on my chest by now…

And the list went on seemingly reciting itself in every category another 20 minutes or so.

I don’t recommend it.

Few other mental gymnastics can ruin a day you haven’t even begun.

The monster list had kept growing as if it had lied dormant under my skin much too long and I’d awoken to scratch exactly the spot it where it had been hiding.

It was way more easy than it should have been.

So I switched on the light, kissed my dog, and came to my senses.

I said a brief prayer and laughed at myself for the waste of time and brain cells.

I’m fine. No damage done.

The list of regrets dissipated more with each sip of coffee, but the lesson that remained is how readily we can live and die in those regrets, should-haves and unrealized wishes with such ease, but can’t just as easily turn the tables to be thankful and happy with where we’ve landed in life so far.

By then I’d advanced to my laptop typing into a new Word document every fortuitous blessing, turn of events that had once saved my life, and motive for living another day that typically accompanied my first step to the floor out of bed each morning.

I reminded myself I’m generally a radically positive guy, very slow to anger, and mentally astute as a better list began filling the second page of the document which became my second prayer of thanks this morning.