Change their normal.

One in five in your kid’s class today will go to bed hungry tonight.

Thousands of  fixed income elderly  are deciding at this very  moment, if they can afford a second meal today.

Parents will serve their children dinner  and a lie this evening, telling them it’s okay, they already ate.

And someone in your office is googling the nearest food pantry to stop by discreetly on the way home.

None of them are proud of it.

All of them hide it.

But they’re hungry.

These are the facts.

This is their normal.

HopeLink of Southern Nevada wants to change their normal.

For the amount of change in your pockets, we can feed hundreds of hungry people

And take away their shame.

Please go to link2hope.org

And help HopeLink change their normal.

just one

I winced

And grit my teeth

And let the tears roll from my eyes

As I listened to the cries

And was angry.

 

I thought

And bowed my head

And pondered nothing but everything

As I strained for a whisper

And heard none.

 

I stood

And called to them all

And begged for their affirming voice

As the echo returned empty

And disgusting.

 

I looked

And found one soul

And passed him my  filled cup

As he stared through me

And dared a smile.

 

I knew

And loved them all

And cared for one by one

As they came my way

And I found peace.

LMSM,

Don

If Life Means So Much, then….

Barring any currently hibernating disease or unfortunate future accident, I have decided that I would like to live quite a while longer.

I’m confident that I have a lot left to offer this world before my expiration date.  Surprising to most—including yours truly– this is a new revelation. Not that I have been suicidal or had a secret death wish, I had just arrived at a place in my life where I neither feared death nor the idea of it.  The death part is acceptable, not so much the idea of dying.  I have never been a fan of suffering, but I digress.

However comfortable that revelation was, I have since realized it had stolen my zest and zeal for the long term.  I have always had purpose and drive and known my life has had meaning. That was never missing.  But I have lacked that kernel or spark that comes with a future orientation.  Subsequently, I haven’t paid much attention to taking care of myself—which, apart from genetic destiny, is probably the best predictor of longevity.

So far, cancer, diabetes, hypertension and heart disease appear to be genetic markers in my family tree.  And at 54 years old, if these diseases are going to manifest or really blossom into something, I’m about ripe for it to happen.  If I can stave those four horsemen off for even a few years, I’m totally down for it.

So, I think it no coincidence of timing that I should have this revelation at this time in my life.

I have some bad habits involving food, nutrition, exercise and cigarettes.  I realize change is necessary.

So here’s my purpose for this post:

I need to bond with someone who will help develop a plan of attack on all levels.  One that is gradual and comprehensive.   I am willing to empty my refrigerator, freezer and pantry and start over.  I am willing to make time for stretching and exercise and fitness stuff, too.  I am also willing to make a full-on attack against the loaded revolvers I put in my mouth several times a day.

I’m not into being sold on fad diets or buying fitness equipment.  There are many friends who swear by their programs and businesses.  I’m happy for you and don’t doubt your belief in your products.  Frankly, I don’t have the extra money to buy a killer blender or a meal program and maybe not even a gym membership since I have a moderately equipped gym at my complex already.  I really would like to consult with someone who can help put together a practical and reasonable program of personal self improvement which will give my insides a better than even chance, help me lose a small belly and increase my energy and vitality.

In short, I’m looking for someone who thinks it would be a good thing for me to live as long as I am able unless, of course, I’m hit by a bus or succumb to a predetermined, diseased fate.

If Life Means So Much, then I  guess I better live up to my words.

If you think that is you and you are interested in taking me on as a project, I can write an incredible testimonial story and keep a good daily journal along the way.

Email me at dondida180@gmail.com

Thanks.

Don

Life, on a bet

More likely than not

today will be just another day

when we wake at different hours

and our redundant routines will

interact creating each other’s daily fate.

 

More likely than not,

today will be just another day

handing us much of what we want

and some of what we don’t

according to our emerging random mood.

 

More likely than not

today will be just another day.

through which time slowly passes

a gradual assessment and assigns a label

of good, bad or something equally myopic.

 

More likely than not

today will be just another day.

which retires our minds, bodies and souls

to tomorrow’s worries

which are, more likely than not,

going to be the same as yesterday’s.

 

And more likely than not

the day will arrive when we wager the next

on a random hope

that tomorrow is more likely than not.

And we will lose.

 

And more likely than not,

we will have expired the lesson

that each day is just another

and another, and another

for those with empty dreams and purposes

which inspire them to live like

today is just another day.

LMSM,

Don

It’s a bad time to do a good thing.

New Year’s is a bad time to do a good thing.

Statistically speaking, that is.  88% of resolutions fail.

Your good intentions have a much better chance of sticking through the new year if you resolve to start today versus a few days from now.

A resolution isn’t so much about stopping a bad thing or starting a good thing. A resolution is a reasoned act, a state of mind, an informed decision which ties itself to no time or place or predicates itself upon no white-knuckled act.

Simply, if you reason yourself into a good enough conclusion, the dissonance you experience when your decision is first tested should produce such discomfort that siding with any decision other than the one best reasoned will make you crazy in the head.

Resolutions begin there and succeed there.

So maybe the best use of the next few days would be to do your research about what you’d like to achieve, begin, stop or otherwise resolve to do.  Write down good arguments for your goal and even the lame arguments against it.  The juxtaposition of the “for and against” list will help you see the empty reasons you’ve been believing that have kept you from making this resolution sooner.

Then, when you’ve completed that list, make a separate list that tangibly describes what you imagine your life to be like having achieved your goal (i.e. $200/month  savings from not buying cigarettes, fitting into your favorite jeans again, a richer spiritual life from morning scripture reading.)

Statitistically speaking, today is the best day to make a meaningful resolve for a better life.

For that matter, isn’t any day?

LMSM,

Don

 

The Christmas Fire we put out.

Well, we did.  At the moment she needed it more than anything else.

I always tell the truth.  All my stories are true and actually happened at some usually bizarre era of my life, which constitutes most of it. In this instance, it was 6th grade and we not only slapped her, we tackled her to the ground and jumped on her head. Many times. Afterward, she and her parents  were grateful.

My best friend was Steve. He lived across the street and we attended the brand new neighborhood elementary school Cyril Wengert.  It was the same year I had ‘called out’ Tony Francisco in Mr. Saxon’s class at recess.  At 94 pounds clothed and wet, I’d no business calling anyone out (an expression which, in that era, meant “I’m mad and want to hit you but I can’t do it in class so by all means, let’s beat each other up in front of the entire school at the next recess when we can both be horribly embarrassed and humiliated at this critically formative and  impressionable age.”  Tony my scheduled adversary, was the class fat boy and as scared as me as we watched the hours pass, counting down, knowing that when the bell rang, thirty two kids were expecting a show that neither of us were equipped to perform. If he was the class donut, I was the french fry in a mismatch of weight divisions.

But I digress.

Steve and I had good parents. That is to say they were parents who forced us to be well rounded in extracurricular activities, which necessarily included Chorus class.  At that age, it was a gender humiliation exercise because, to my recollection, we were the only boys in a big sea of cooties.  I could be wrong, but when you hear our story, you’ll understand.

It was Christmastime and the final day of school before Christmas break.  Miss Neurosis (not her real name, but appropriate) had drilled us on the Christmas concert rehearsal for weeks. She was less concerned with how we sounded but she was absolutely ape shit about choreographic perfection. It was her first year teaching in a new school with a reputation to build and this Christmas concert was the pageant in which her disorder would be revealed to all.  Vocally, 6th grade is typically not good for on-the-cusp pubescent boys, but to her, the sound was much less critical than the spectacle she’d prepared for staff and parents.

Okay, so the night of the performance had arrived and Miss Neurosis had gone over the procedure for blowing out our individual candles at the very end of the last song for the very last time before we made our dramatic ascension up the stairs.

The room was packed and the choral ensemble was robed in perfectly ironed black gowns with white starched collars framing 70 partly pimpled faces illuminated by individual candles. Two lines entered up the stairs from both sides of the room. It was quite dramatic. Steve lead the group on the right and the little black girl lead the group on the left with me right behind her.  Our lines met in the top center of the library balcony, candles aflame on the last line of the final chorus of Silent Night. We all were looking forward to our two weeks off.

Flanked on either side by Steve and I, the little afroed black girl’s head was a huge, bulbous globe of stiff AquaNet flocked hair, like a dandelion, only black and with no breeze. It was the style back then, but not for much longer.

Miss Neurosis’ choreography was for one slow, unified and dramatic move whereby our candles and illuminated faces would extinguish simultaneously as a group one the last sung word. Each student was to blow “Peeeeeaaacceee” as a stream of air that–at least hypothetically– would blow out the candle as we bowed our heads in unison. We had never practiced with real flames.

Try it now. “Peeeeeeaaaacceee.”  There is no fricative with sufficient air force to extinguish even a match stick much less a 12 gauge candle.  Though we all tried our best, Miss Neurosis was flustered in the back of the room at this huge error in enunciative judgment which kept the staircase of candles flickering much longer than expected.  But as if that wasn’t enough humiliation….

Bulbous AquaNet afros are flammable, and 6th grade boys can’t do two things at once. Especially without fricatives.

She burst into flames between me and Steve like some not so silent night explosion. For a moment, it was beautiful. Like a Chia Pet caught fire.  The flame rounded her head in a circular pattern faster and faster until she didn’t know what hit her.

Recognizing the heroic opportunity, Steve and I pushed her to the floor and pounced the smoldering do. In the back of the library, Miss Neurosis had long since fainted in disgrace missing the crescendo of applause offered for our valiant effort.

And with the stunned little black girl still on the ground in ashes, we stood up and took a bow to a roaring audience.  And Tony Francisco and the entire 6th grade class forever knew me as a hero the same year someone invented the cornrow.

And we all had a Merry Christmas for two whole weeks!

And let it begin with me.

Peace on earth is wished in greetings of prose and song this time each year. But is peace on earth really possible or just a relic, an outdated greeting from simpler times long ago when there was a lot more of it? Giving up on peace would be a resignation of hope and I don’t think most of us are ready for that just yet.

But fewer and fewer believe peace on earth is genuinely attainable.  It sounds warm, lovely and hopeful like many  season’s greeting cards, but is just as quickly drowned out by the next hostile report of murder, war and mayhem next door or across the globe.

I, however, believe peace on earth is still possible.

Peace on earth is a movement.

What if you abandoned the impossible thought of global peace and viewed peace on earth emerging as a series of individual efforts which, consistent and connected, create the cause of peace and move it forward, if but an inch with each?  Movements by definition, move. They gain momentum.  They don’t stop.  Those who would pay peace forward do so in small, imaginable, deliberate ways.  And not because of a season.

Peace is the easing of pain, the healing of wounds, the comfort of the afflicted. Peace is a warm coat, a hot meal, a ride to the store or a touch to the untouchable?  We can do peace. Each of us.

Peace on earth is a sacrifice.

It takes effort.  Selfish people will never have peace because they never give it.  It’s up to the rest of us.  And this time of year, there is more indulgence than at any other.   But conversely, peace-full people make extra effort.  Stories of individual and family gives, abandonment of conformity to the commercialization of the holidays and ensembles of strangers uniting for the purpose of sharing with the impoverished abound.

Peace on earth is deliberate.

Peace on earth will not ride in on the coattails of a determined leader.  It won’t take residence in a world of good intentions.  It cannot be legislated or mandated.   It won’t arrive in a wave of mass conviction.  Peace on earth will come only deliberately, one act of goodwill at a time.  And peace on earth is not bound by a time of year.

Peace on earth is an all-year commitment.

When the holiday season ends, so does the giving.  Corporate giving isn’t expected to continue throughout the year when PR opportunities are fewer and less available.  Likewise, individual giving drops.  People justify their inaction by complaining they are tapped out.  But the movement of peace doesn’t slow or stop simply because the season is over. It never lacks resources. It doesn’t take a break.  It moves. It has to.

Very shortly, the celebration will be over.

But the cause of peace will go on, feeding the hungry, warming the cold and touching the neglected, with or without you, albeit with less momentum, but never lacking intention.

At this time and at all times, our wish must be

let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.

Don’t give up the hope. We can get there.  Vow with me to keep the momentum.

 

Christmas is all in my head.

They woke us up at daybreak from what little warmth our lightweight tent provided, promising what was about to occur would be unforgettable.

It was to be the thrill of a lifetime for little boys like us. In about ten minutes, we would experience the climax event of our fifty mile summer backpacking trip through the high sierras at the hands of our fathers who always made life fun and memorable. What could possibly be so exciting at daybreak above the timber line, halfway into our two week trip where we’d seen no one but each other on the trail the entire time?
But they promised. And all three dads were looking to the sky, grinning in anticipation.
We were their young men. They thought us unaware of the flasks they’d stowed in their backpacks for times like this. We had spent the last eight days in blistered boots and full packs across grueling still-snowy switchbacks on summer vacation to arrive here. Along the way, they had taught us how to fall in love with the mountains and the mornings, though we’d fallen asleep early the night before out of exhaustion and a dinner of freeze dried somethings.
But we were awake. Out in the cold at 8,500 feet, Thousand Island Lake’s shimmering surface stretched out before us reflecting the morning sun, and the majesty of Banner Peak glowed rising like an orange God at the very end of our lake. Even at 12 years old, it was a breathtaking view. Behind us were the many miles during which time we’d been becoming men, having traveled together to this glorious elevation alone, seeing no other soul for many miles or days.
We were irritated at the surprise awakening, too young for coffee, too cold for Tang this early. Still, we stood there in the cold morning air, dirty and with frozen breath gazing up as men, awed and beholden by beauty.
And then…far behind us beyond the horizon…and what seemed miles away but on fast approach, we could hear it. Three grinning dads glanced our way, sipped their scotch and coffee and returned their gazes upward as if to welcome the second coming of Christ in our midst. We were increasingly awake, a huddled group of little boys, alarmed at what we were hearing but strangely comforted by relaxed smiles of our dads. A loud rumble at first, it gained deafening high frequency and intensified our way. I feared a bomb or a meteor shot from space and we were at ground zero.
From behind, the lake shook, we vibrated and with hardly enough time to turn to look, the F-15 fighter jet raced in front of our team across the surface of the shaken lake and went seemingly perpendicular up the face of Banner Peak. And as quickly as the deafening noise broke our early morning silence, it disappeared and faded into the rays of the blue morning sky and in unison, our gasped breath.
We weren’t quite sure what we’d just experienced but something had flown into our lake valley and disappeared as quickly over the mountain ahead. It was an incredible sense of awe as if God himself had paid us a very loud and fast morning visit.
Our three dads had made prior arrangement with a family friend on a fighter pilot cruise for a surprise fly by that very morning in this most unlikely place of all.
A rite of passage, that morning, we became men.
If we’re not careful, the frenzy of the holiday season can steal from us the most lasting of all gifts. Memories of our childhood, recollections of times past when we were young, innocent and impressionable. Times when big things happened that made us marvel at the hands of parents who wanted nothing more than to see our surprised faces and smiles.
For older men, nostalgia is a wonderful gift. It entertains, it brings stories of joy and takes us to simpler times and nearly forgotten experiences with people who now only exist in our ability to remember them as they were.
I may have lost my dad, but I will never lose the memories he made for me as a little boy. They are wonderful gifts that give forever and make me smile like a twelve year old even now.

This is a little piece of Christmas I carry all year long.

What is normal?

He never planned it this way.

He’d served his country four years and three tours and expected a little more in return.

But it’s an early winter morning and if he is going to get anything remotely fresh today, he needs to get there early. Dozens like him will be traveling in cars but he lost his a couple winters ago to a payday loan company in exchange for a month of keeping his heat on.  He laughs at the irony. He hasn’t had a payday in 20 years.

At 81 now, he moves more slowly.  Partly due to the cold.  Partly the wage of aging.  Slipping on the tattered gloves and coat he’d received last year from the passing of a friend downstairs, he heads out the door into the biting wind for the long walk he makes twice weekly.

$20 in coupons to the farmer’s market  from the charity down the street.  It’s pretty much his only shot at a bag of fresh produce and fruit to complement the $16 in food stamps and cans of whatever the adjacent church food pantry has on the shelves that day.  But he’s learned there’s a  better than even chance for hamburger on Tuesdays.

When I first met John, I’d naively asked him if it was difficult getting old.

He said “No, it’s difficult being hungry.”

For an entire generation of people just like  him who’d once dreamed of a retirement of travel or at the very least, a front porch, this is normal.  This is how they  wake up.  This is what they take to  bed at night. This is the entirety of their lonely day.  But the fortunate ones, like John, can still smile through it all and remarkably reminisce about their blessed lives if you will give them an audience.

Normal.

What’s yours?

Mine is seeing this every day and doing what I can with limited resources to change it.

I work at HopeLink of Southern Nevada, a small family resource center  with 11 other really smart co-workers bent on changing the normal of people like John.

Funding for non-profits has taken a big hit recently, making our efforts dependent on the generous giving of individuals like you who partner with us to change their normal.

About  90% of every dollar we receive goes directly to client services and assistance to help the John’s of our community and children and families who are desperately seeking a step up the ladder which will lead them out of poverty and into self-sufficiency.

This coming Thursday, March 10th, we have a chance to buy some ladders for these people.  It’s the Nevada Big Give, an online global day of giving.  John and thousands more we serve each year are counting on it to make a difference for their lives.

Me and John thank you in advance.

Help HopeLink change their normal.

The power of an hour

In service of the federal government and the alkaline battery lobby, millions will pay homage to the bi-annual tradition of changing clocks and smoke alarm batteries 2am Sunday morning. The reward is one ubiquitous yet elusive hour of time and a certainty that if your place catches fire, you’ll be more terrified by the smoke alarm than the flames.

This biannual tradition at the end of a Saturday night alternates a cumulative theft or gift of one hour per person or a couple hundred million aggregate American hours, give or take—and very literally so. All tallied, it’s the equivalent of an astounding 23,000 years (minus batteries) taken from Americans each spring and returned to them each fall! Depending on your take, 23,000 years is either a mind-blowing number or an incredible opportunity.

What changes could an entire nation make if we had 23,000 years in which to do it…virtually overnight?

If each of us used our one hour at some point this season for a needy cause, to make dinner for a shut-in neighbor, volunteer for a charity or otherwise advocate for a deserving cause of humanity, might we see a difference? What if we all donated just one hour of our wages? Overnight, the problems of poverty, homelessness, hunger, and most of our nation’s ills would vanish.

On Saturday night, before you wander to bed or when you arrive home from a shortened night out, change your clocks and batteries, and vow to spend your 60 minute change somewhere you see fit. Change something for someone else. Changing your clock or a 9V battery isn’t really that hard. God knows it’s a lot less rewarding option than what could be done with 23,000 years overnight.

The power of an hour.
What’s yours worth?