I wish I’d planned better, worked harder, took the other job, done that and not this.

I wish I’d had someone to tell me what today would be like.
I wish I hadn’t called in sick, took that fall, been more careful at certain things and been more careless at others.

I wish I’d been able to see the world, see my grandchildren, see my lover one last time.

I wish I’d stayed in the game, away from games of some and closer to those of others.

I wish I’d lived when I had the chance and taken chances that made me feel alive when I had them to spend.

I wish I could go back in time to take the road less traveled more or just traveled more often.

I wish I had more wishes that came true and that I’d been truer to myself.

I wish I’d given more instead of giving in.

I wish I’d dwelt on cliffs instead of in the valleys, in the nows instead of in the maybes and I wish I’d been more aware.

I wish it wasn’t all over when I still have beginnings left to spend.

And I wish it wasn’t so quiet and dark and moist and blurry.

And I wish it wasn’t so red.

And I wish I’d kept my eyes on the road instead of my phone, giving me more time for better final wishes than these.

The Matthew 25 stories are analogies to illustrate what God expects from us beyond simply believing in him and the resurrection event. 

True belief demands we adopt its mission and here’s how these analogies are affecting me now. 

To wait until my forced retirement, old age, encroaching serious health issues, and sharp reduction in real life social connections to decide how best to be a bold soul-winner for Christ puts me late to the party and seemingly disadvantaged.

Flogging myself with a lifetime of regretful shoulda coulda wouldas won’t change much of anything except to pave roads for continued delays and reduce my chances to be truly effective at this “new” mission of my old age. 

But to know he weaves all things for his good despite my delays still feeds my confidence whether I have days, weeks, months or years of punches left on my dance card. 

Maybe it’s prompted by the belated reckoning of my own mortality or it’s just taken these many years of experience to bring about the conscious realization that my faith “should” have accrued a lot more works by now, is water under the bridge. 

Using my talents and zeal to advance the kingdom of God in lives of others I want by my side when I’ve finally crossed over to eternity is where I’m seeking this late-in-life momentum.

I believe I’ve accomplished much for others in my life and I’ll continue because that’s just who I am, but I have fallen short when it comes to helping lead people to the saving knowledge of Jesus as their own personal Lord and savior. 

So this is my conviction and call now. 

My prayer will be for God to clear paths, open doors, and cause me to be spiritually responsive to prompting by the Holy Spirit. 

Today is my new day and the remainder of the rest of my life begins now. 

King Solomon was greater in riches and wisdom than all the other kings of the earth.
The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart.
‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭10‬:‭23‬-‭25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

If you recall, Solomon’s first and only request was for wisdom. Not for riches or power.

Wisdom was what built his kingdom into riches and power never seen before.

1 Kings 9:4-5 is the pact he made with God that assured the continuation of his riches, power and rule.

Too many of us have focused on prayers for riches or power and devalued the wisdom that make them possible.

What a world this might be today if we all craved wisdom and insight over money and fame and acknowledged wisdom as the gift it is.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Wisdom is the currency of God that keeps us humble yet makes us wealthy beyond measure.

Wisdom starts with a healthy fear of a holy God.

God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore, greater than the wisdom of all the people of the East, and greater than all the wisdom of Egypt.

He was wiser than anyone else and his fame spread to all the surrounding nations. People came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, sent by all the kings of the world.
‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭4‬:‭29‬-‭34‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Wisdom reaches much further than intellect. Wisdom embodies principles, values and morals with all their nuances within its proclamations, all programmed in by the mind and heart of a loving God.

Consequences of rule by a wise and principled leader is a peaceful and satisfied kingdom which Solomon had created and enjoyed.

We pray for our own leaders to manifest and exercise the wisdom of Solomon and to prize wisdom far above wealth, honor and fame.

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.—1Timothy 2:1-2

Not so long ago I was playing softball, riding bikes and buying far more wedding gifts than sympathy cards.

Then both parents died within a few years of one another suddenly leaving me in grasp of the eldest branch of my family tree, unprepared and now at more of my own doctor visits than walks in the park.

I started being more careful climbing ladders and began taking fewer risks and chances with the advancing march of my own mortality.

It all came more clearly into view and way sooner than expected.
And I wasn’t alone.

Out for coffee and conversation with peers and friends became more talk of our empty nests, punctuated by pill counts and nagging pains like unwilling nomads that have shifted and moved with the weather or for no reason at all.

When did I move to the front of the line where the old people used to stand?

You can’t even take a number here anymore.

I suppose they just call when the luck runs out and yours is up.

And a few tears later, the next generation advances to take your place.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭16‬:‭24‬-‭25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Self-denial and living contently within it isn’t a popular choice during these days of human indulgence. 

Bearing one’s own cross is no easy task, but it is a central desire of those who would willingly follow Jesus. 

While I wouldn’t profess self-denial as my strongest suit, there are key areas of my life I choose to daily deny myself solely due to my love for Jesus.

The weight of this cross on me has eased over the many years I’ve maintained it as I’m sure you have done so yourself. 

There’s a price to following Jesus and it’s paid every morning you wake up. 

If you haven’t yet created the vacuum of your own private self-denial, you may be missing out on the infilling of the Holy Spirit to advance your faith and flourishing. 

I’m dying to know what Jeff found out.

My good friend succumbed to his illness last year with a host of unanswered questions.

He literally wrote the book on unanswered questions and spiritual dilemmas. Actually, two books if I recall. I was his editor for the first one so I gained an intimate understanding of what ailed him spiritually before the physical one snatched him up to heaven to be fully alive and enlightened.

I still think about Jeff from time to time and envy what he now knows with an absolute certainty from the One with all the answers.
And unless he’s writing the prequel to share, I’ll just have to wait.

But in all honesty,
I’m one of many dying to know what Jeff found out.

“The Pharisees and Sadducees came to Jesus and tested him by asking him to show them a sign from heaven. 

He replied, “When evening comes, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,’ and in the morning, ‘Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.’ 

You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times. 

A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.” 

Jesus then left them and went away.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭16‬:‭1‬-‭4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Jesus isn’t rebuking ignorance—He’s rebuking their selective perception.

The Pharisees and Sadducees weren’t asking for a sign because they lacked evidence. They were asking because they refused to accept the miracles and healings already in front of them. 

Their request wasn’t curiosity but a demand for control—prove yourself on our terms.

Read the spiritual moment you’re standing in.

Asking for endless signs can be a way of postponing surrender.

Jesus points them to one sign only: Jonah was in the depths and emerged alive. Jesus would die, be buried, and rise again

There are moments when continued argument hardens rather than heals. Jesus doesn’t chase those who insist on proof while refusing trust. 

What have you already been shown and are resisting?

In the course of time, David inquired of the Lord. “Shall I go up to one of the towns of Judah?” he asked.
The Lord said, “Go up.”
David asked, “Where shall I go?”
“To Hebron,” the Lord answered.”
‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Like you, so many of my days have been spent asking for God’s direction in my life.

Praying, pining, and pleading, even creating a private decision matrix to determine if it was God answering or if I needed to spend more time on my knees for the answer.

Never have I ever simply asked and heard his answer, even moreso, including specifics as David did in this passage.

The difference?

God is good. His desire is for us to live and thrive.

David knew and acted upon this premise of prayer. He didn’t overthink or second guess himself nor God.

These days, that still small voice of the Holy Spirit is crowded out competing with the noise and distractions of this world.

David lived a simple life wholly dependent on God for his own existence and survival. Noise, distractions and interruptions were few.

The enemy is the mind’s noisemaker.

Psalm 20:4 and Psalm 37:4: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart”
“May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed”

And in the New Testament, Matthew 6:8: “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him”

God’s will and direction is not a shell game.

Simplify, ask, and trust that God has only your best interests and intentions at heart.

God answered David: “To Hebron.”

“Then the men of Judah came to Hebron, and there they anointed David king over the tribe of Judah.
‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭2‬:‭4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

For David, the formula turned out great!

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.
‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭1‬:‭26‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Lamenting the death of Jonathan, his close friend and son of King Saul, David’s verse highlights the profound bond they shared.

Jonathan’s love and loyalty were exceptional, even surpassing typical romantic love, reflecting the depth of their friendship with loyalty, grief, and the pain of loss.

Platonic love can be just as meaningful and impactful as romantic relationships.

Losing someone so close and devoted is a heartache familiar to many of us.

While a part of us dies amid such loss, a new part of us is born of the memories and experiences that forge us into greater maturity.

Loss is only loss if we refuse to let it transform us from the same death to the new life as they now enjoy.